Michael's Monthly Message - January 2009

Dear Family, Friends, and Supporters,

Welcome to my monthly message for January 2009!

It’s a new year and though we may be off to a tough start concerning the financial stability of our country, I think 2009 will be a good year for many.

I’m writing this message on January 9th which is a very special day for someone close to my heart. It is my oldest daughter’s 16th birthday. I want to wish her the very best on her birthday, and let her know, “I love you and miss you very much!” Some day, I hope I’m given the chance to set things straight. My dilemma of late is how to settle the confusion that eats away at my mind each and every day concerning my children. It just boggles my mind that I spent 14 years of my life with someone who I thought was my best friend, only to learn that she feels it is more important for her to never speak with me or my family again and to never let me see, speak, or write to my daughters. Who does that? Also, how is that in the best interest of the children? It’s literally as if she is pouring poison in my wound. Yeah, you could say I’m confused to say the least.

By no comparison am I going through anything close to what Jesus went through. But remember when he was on the cross dying, and he was in so much pain. It’s almost hard to fathom. All he wanted was a drink of water to quench his dying thirst. Something, anything to trick his mind into believing somehow the pain would subside. But instead, a Roman soldier had the audacity to dip a rag on the end of a pole into vinegar and press it against his lips. Nice – huh? Well, imagine with no warming, no word, no letter – you could never see, talk, or correspond with the most precious thing in your life – your children. Then, you find out the person responsible for these actions is the one you grew to love and shared the most intimate parts of your life with. Most would call this betrayal, but to me, it’s something more. At least, the Roman soldier was ignorant with his actions and didn’t share most of his life with Jesus. When someone who supposedly loved you is intentionally cruel, it brings the situation to a whole other level. Anyway, with that said, I still wish only the best for her. However, I must say that nothing has eased my pain or brought peace of mind to me.

For those of you who happen to have children, you might understand why I am so frustrated. Let me just say when my daughters were born, there was such a bond of love in my heart that it was indescribable. I witnessed such love and innocence in my daughters that their beauty left me breathless at times. I never thought in my worst nightmare that I wouldn’t be able to share my life with them. In my opinion, there is no excuse for someone to take away my children especially for the sake of convenience. Life is short enough, and we never know when our time is up. Look at what John Travolta and Kelly Preston are dealing with right now with the loss of their son, Jett.

Life is a gift from God, and we need to respect that gift on all levels. We must remember it is the time we share with one another that matters most in life, even if it is only a simple letter or phone call. It’s the sharing that makes us one. The next time you are visiting the cemetery and are respecting those who have passed on, I want you to notice something on everyone’s grave stone. Pay special attention to that little dash in between the dates of when they were born and when they died. That “dash” signifies their entire life – that small, short little dash was their whole life!

OK, I probably should apologize for dampening everyone’s spirits. I guess I’m tired of walking on broken glass, and I have to admit I struggled this year through the holidays and my daughters’ birthdays. My daughters mean everything to me, and the fact I don’t even know what they look like anymore breaks my heart. Hopefully, someday that will change, but for now, I want to thank all of you for listening to me vent some of my frustrations.

On a different note, I want to thank everyone for all of the nice Christmas cards, pictures of your families, and for the gifts. It was very thoughtful of everyone, and I will always be extremely grateful for everyone’s kindness. Even though I’m in prison, I really do appreciate everyone sharing part of your life with me.

My movie recommendation is the new Batman movie “The Dark Knight”. The Batman Series has taken on quite a serious role. Also, I know most people think that Jack Nicholson was the best “Joker”, but I really enjoyed Heath Ledger. It is too bad that Heath will no longer be with us, because he was a great actor. So, if there are any of you who somehow missed seeing this movie, I suggest you get some snacks, turn off the lights, and plan to be captivated for two and a half hours by “non-stop” action with some incredible special affects.

My profound quote is: “Then Jesus said, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

Until next month, take care and remember: “The key to the mysteries of life hide in the pain of our most difficult experiences….”

Love and Light to All,

Michael